have you ever felt jealous? trust me, it is the worst feeling ever.
JEALOUSY drives people crazy. hmhm.
by the way, the jealousy thing i talked is not about "a girlfriend that finds out that her boy cheats on her" it's more like when someone gets something that you're expecting to get it but you never even wanna take a risk to try it.
life's complicated *sigh*
IT HAPPENED TO ME right this second. and the feeling of mine now, it sucks.
everyone deserves everything they have put the effort on and so did he.
he studied so hard and kept praying and he got all he wants
but still, the reality beat me like a drum.
some people would just go through it and forget it like there was nothing happened.
but do you ever consider the man i talked about is one of the let's say "inspiration" no, not that word, umm "motivator" still not right, or just say that he's "the reason why i can stay at school later than 12 pm"?
it actually hurts me that the one i envy because of his cleverness, smartness, and luck is also the one i wanna stay with, spend my time with, and the one i don't wanna lose.
once i want him to disappear "why can he solve the math thigy? oh for god sake, he can do the damn difficult phys test too. bio teacher gave him a chocolate for getting a good score. how can he understand the chem formula? he was just playing around. i watched him." then "ZAPP!!" he disappears.
but once I want him to go nowhere "hey, just stay here" and he goes nowhere.
This is gonna be a hard decision for him and a tough moment for me. i'm hoping all the best for both of us.
One thing i wanna say to him is : "CONGRATULATIONS!! all of your hard works have been paid off. you're the smartest guy i've ever wanted to spend my time with. i"m happy for you, i'm also very proud. Good luck in everything. may God always be with you and protect you."
One thing i wanna wishper into his ear is: "How about if you not leaving me? is that possible? but it's all your choice"
